My Mixed Bag of Emotions on Mother's Day

My Mixed Bag of Emotions on Mother's Day

Today marks my eighth Mother’s Day as a mom and the sixth that I haven’t had my Mom to spend it with. It brings upon a very conflicting range of emotions as you may or may not be able to imagine. The first Mother’s Day without my mom was gut wrenching, really one of the hardest days since the day she had passed. I remember it was the beginning of my blogging days and a brand asked me to do a Mother’s Day post, but I had to decline. I just couldn’t bring myself to even acknowledge this day let alone put my many emotions into words to share with the world.

I won’t say it has gotten easier over the years, but I’ve learned how to deal a bit better. I tend to avoid social media on Mother’s Day. It’s not that I’m not happy for friends who are celebrating with their moms; believe me when I say I now view these people as the luckiest out there. I’d give anything for one more day with my mom. We’d cruise in her red convertible with some 80’s hair band blasted as loud as it could go! My best friend emailed me today and had this to say about my Mom, “…her incredible energy, kindness and joie de vivre! And that red convertible. I see so much of her in you!” I see it too and today I’m clinging to it, grateful that she’s a big part of who I am—even my tiny temper when someone steals my French fries!

I read this blog post yesterday, and it completely rocked me. I could relate to Elizabeth on so many levels, but especially that she lost her mom to cancer and now has two kiddos (soon-to-be three), leaving her dealing with a similar range of emotions on this holiday. Elizabeth went on to talk about losing a very close mom-friend, and it woke me up like a bucket of ice water being dumped over my head. I have three beautiful children in front of me on this day where I am the center of their world. They care so much about making this day special for me: the mini art masterpieces, thoughtful handcrafted cards and breakfast in bed. Stories like the one I read are a bold reminder that I’m not guaranteed another Mother’s Day. Life is so precious; to not soak up what’s in front of me would be the ultimate mom fail!

I realize this blog post might not be the feel-good story of the year. But, my sincere hope is that by reading my thoughts and the stories I’ve shared, you’ll squeeze your mom a little tighter, cherish special time with your children (even if they just spilled an entire bag of flour trying to make homemade pancakes!), allow yourself to feel the feels if you’ve lost your mother figure or are struggling to become one. Whatever the case may be, I hope you’ll join me in seizing this day to celebrate the women in our life who offer unconditional love to bring better people into this world.

Happy Mother’s Day to you & yours.

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